Monday, September 24, 2007
hmmz.. what is happiness??
i've been asking myself this question, esp lately that i've been working.. earning more?? climbing up the ladders?? getting more recognitions?? it seems that the answer is no to all of the above..
I was listening to Fm 100.3, and the Dj asked us to think of a song that makes us think of happiness.. and someone gave this song 小虎队 - 红蜻蜓.. a very old song indeed..and i was reminded of when i was in pri sch.. me and my fren will be chasing after dragonflies at times.. after school.. sounds dumb and lame now.. but at that time.. simple things like those made us happy.. i grew up having that mentality.. being simple is my theology.. 天塌下来当被盖 -- that's my simple motto.. maybe that's why i grew being more happier than others.. even tho sometimes circumstances doesn't allow me to..
Is it true that as we begin to grow up, problems and unhappiness became more?? I hope not.. cause i'm not even 1/4 into the century.. and i've so many dreams to run after.. and so many things to do.. hope that i can remind myself everyday.. to be happy.. not necessarily over big things.. but be thankful over small ones..
(let's just say.. if you are humming.. or even singing aloud to this song.. welcome to my world~~)
oh.....
飞呀飞呀
看那红色蜻蜓飞在蓝色天空
游戏在风中不断追逐它的梦
天空是永恒的家大地就是它的王国
飞翔是生活
我们的童年也像追逐成长吹来的风
轻轻地吹著梦想慢慢地升空
红色的蜻蜓是我小时候的小小英雄
多希望有一天能和它一起飞
当烦恼越来越多玻璃弹珠越来越少
我知道我已慢慢的长大了
红色的蜻蜓曾几何时
也在我岁月慢慢不见了
我们都已经长大好多梦正在飞
就像童年看到的红色的蜻蜓
我们都已经长大好多梦还要飞
就像现在心目中红色的蜻蜓
DayS of XY's LIFE.
9/24/2007 11:07:00 PM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
TGIF... my colleague actually said that.. ye man.. in my heart.. thank God it's friday.. i thank HIM that my test is over (can pass la.. i tink).. my stress is slowly being taken away.. and that i din have to stay back in office late again.. da saved me..
She called me.. and ya.. in my heart.. i was expecting someone to call me.. if not, i'll just stay back in office to do ad-hoc.. i tink e one of the greatest tins in life is to have a fren to 'nua' with.. my fren has her bestie.. and i can understand how she feels.. it's really great.. when you are feeling down.. when you just feel like.. you need to hang out with someone.. when you need to have a big feast.. when you want to feed your addiction - movie.. or just keep quiet and stay silent with.. ye.. i have that kind of company too.. her name is **drum roll**
SANDAR>> someone whom i din really acknowledge.. erm i mean in my blog .. haha.. i guess she'll tink her in heart where's her presence in here.. alright.. maybe she din really tink that.. but i know i just need to include her in.. today we did what we used to do.. what i like.. just hanging out.. eating.. talking.. silent.. talking.. watching movie.. and it just goes on and on..
Maybe some of you know our story.. some dun.. anyway.. i'll just indicate it down.. at least 10 years down the road.. i can read it again and smile :)
This special friend of mine.. our friendship came a long way (15years--> even longer than some of your age here..)scary.. i m getting old *.*
.. known her since pri 3.. a foreigner who came from Myammar to our school to study.. all i knew abt her is she's simple and have loads of $$.. thus our plot of 'using' her started by asking her to treat us here and there etc.. (how scheming a pri 3 can get) but along the way.. as she grew older.. she realised and well.. we stopped.. ha.. i dunnoe when our friendship grew deeper.. we've seen each other's good sides.. disgusting sides..bad tempers.. our weaknesses.. our downs in life.. our victories.. we did the silliest things that pple could tink.. laughed over weird stuffs and shared the most interesting secrets.. >.<
almost everything.. we were indirectly inter-connected..
met each other's parents.. treated each other's house as own.. oh well.. mayb i treated hers more like my own.. ha..
you just know she's the one.. where you can just relax with.. take off your mask.. be who you really are.. and know she still accepts for you as YOU.. maybe if she's a guy.. i would marry 'him'.. haha
And the later story is that we went to the same church..same cg.. but diff sch, diff ministry, diff calling.. diff paths in life tho.. but still our life was intertwined..
.. she became not just my fren.. but also my 'soul-mate' in this spiritual walk..
The greatest challenge of our friendship happened since oct 2006.. our friendship went to the lowest of lowest.. and i tot it was over.. but God meant it otherwise.. it made me see even how precious this friendship was.. it's scary to realise when you are at your darkest.. you dunnow who to turn to.. what number to dial.. what to say.. who to find to put down your burden and mask..
So just to say a BIG thank you !! i dunnoe when you'll read this.. i know someday you would.. thanks for not giving up on me all these while.. thanks for all the morning calls.. the company to morning services.. the encouragements.. the phone calls, just to find out whether i'm still alive..the list will go on forever as i will always have something to be thankful to you about..
BUT most importantly.. thanks for being MY friend!!
'what will happen if our lives had never crossed each other??'
**DO you have that soul mate too??
DayS of XY's LIFE.
9/22/2007 01:02:00 AM
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
One word to sum up today = STRESSED... At work, at studies.. all over the place.. targets to be met.. tmr there's one test..
So i went gorging.. one habit i haven been doing for a long long time.. really.. i've been trying to cut down on the portions i take.. but today.. it just came out.. i need to focus on something.. so i went shopping.. for FOOD>>
i spent $17, i bought tako-pachi, bubble tea, 5 sticks of yaki-tori, 1 cream puff and 1 choc fondant, plus 4 breads.. relax.. i din finish everything.. of cos i shared with my family.. ha.. plus i came home, ate dinner, chic again, rice, wanton soup, i just gorged without feelings.. and tt's scary.. i tink i m sick again.. someone save me..
Tired.. mentally.. really.. i tink i reached my brink.. a small little issue can make me break down in tears.. manz.. tt's scary too..
DayS of XY's LIFE.
9/19/2007 08:35:00 PM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
this week i went for the sat service.. after picking up my courage.. cos normally sat service i get to see a lot of pple that i know.. and it can get quite awkward now.. but then.. i've to start somewhere.. can't be possibly be stuck here forever.. to start with.. i went svr late cos of work.. and there's no seats due to overcrowding.. so i've to stand.. listening to sermon that've been preached half.. dun quite get it.. to add on.. i had a migraine again.. which can kill.. wanted to go home.. but somehow i just stayed..
Met up with the PPs - YQ, Joyce and LX, and not forgeting Rach's cg.. thanks guys.. you made me feel very loved and accepted.. thanks for starting somewhere that i din noe how to.. thanks for the neo-prints.. it was very sweet of you guys.. i can't post it up now. wait til my com accepts my hp 1st.. but ye.. i din noe i'm everybody's baby.. most of pple calling me that.. haha..
so at the end of day, it's not just the church, the events and complicated words.. it's the pple ard you.. your friends.. they are just by your side.. no need to say much.. but actions paints a lot.. that can bring a smile to your face.. thanks.. im glad that i came yesterday :)
And for the rest of the pple who are concerned abt me.. no worries.. i m really ok le.. just trying to re-start my engines now... :p
DayS of XY's LIFE.
9/16/2007 02:56:00 PM
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Today went service.. it was this speaker.. Nick.. he was awesome.. handicapped in some ways .. but yet so full in CHrist.. he shared abt his own testimony.. and i can relate to him.. all of us have weaknesses.. but thru Him.. it seems perfect in HIS own ways..
Something aches.. think it's my heart.. missed some people.. the PPs... someone msg-ed me to take care.. telling me how they are.. thanks.. i really appreciate it.. thanks for taking the initiative.. and i realised.. they are more courageous than me.. what is courage?? Doing it even in the midst of fear?? Sorry once again.. for my irresponsibilities.. perhaps.. things can be solved in another way.. well.. it's already no use.. cryin over spilled milk..
Coming here.. i realised.. this is not what i want.. placing joy in temporary things.. and it becomes temporary too..
God, longing for Your peace.. the peace of God.. i want to learn to become satisfied.. satisfied in the appropriate ways.. and not in YoU.. Suddenly, everything is slowly falling into places.. Like a puzzle.. forming pictures that i could have never seen in my previous state..
DayS of XY's LIFE.
9/09/2007 03:35:00 PM
